Reported by Y.Y. in Osaka on 1 July 1950
I suffered from tuberculosis or to be correct, it can be said that I suffered chronic tuberculosis phobia. Just as I was diagnosed with tuberculous asthma and pulmonary infiltrates by the doctor, the fear of tuberculosis engraved my innocent mind step by step. Until then, I didn’t think that tuberculosis was such a dreadful disease probably because I was not interested in it very much or absolutely believed in medicine. Once I was sentenced to suffer from tuberculosis, however, I got pessimistic about anything. What I expected was betrayed one by one, which aroused me great fear. I did nothing against the medical theory but I always went in the opposite direction from what I expected. The doctor promised me with a smile that I would recover but contrary to his promise, I became physical wrecked. The cold reality drove me to the bottom of the tragedy. Here, let me tell you about my pitiful experience of struggling during the age of my phobia until the truth or the real nature of tuberculosis is told.
At the age of eighteen years old or so, I suffered from tuberculosis. I was a student. My late father was worried about me more than himself. I am the only son of him. He resigned from his busy job and took me to the doctor to the doctor by using his connection. He tried to protect me from tuberculosis. I never forget such touching but miserable memories, which burnt into my mind and never leaves. Since my father was an intellectual person with a solid position in society at that time, he must have had a lot of knowledge of tuberculosis. TB prevention was advocated even at that time though it was not as encouraged as it is today. I think that he fully knew how terrible tuberculosis was. Therefore, he tried to protect me from tuberculosis to spend most of the household budget on my medical treatment.
To adopt the latest and best way, my whole body was repeatedly examined in various ways in various places. An interview, auscultation, tapping, tuberculin reaction, radioscopy, photographing, erythrocyte sedimentation rate, vital capacity and so on. They were very troublesome to me. My hidden body was completely exposed to medicine. Since then, I just followed my father’s instructions and went to a sanatorium which he chose. That was my daily routine. I didn’t like very much to have an injection every day but I continued for a year. In that way, I inevitably got the knowledge of tuberculosis from A to Z in my brain which had not been yet crammed in my brain. I also instilled the fear of tuberculosis into it. In this way, my body and mind were being eaten by tuberculosis phobia. I don’t know whether such phobia brought a good effect or not. Strange enough, all possible medical treatment I had afterwards did work. My first tuberculosis seemed to be gone and I gradually got better. The doctor declared, “It’s all right now.” My father and I shared the joy together very much. However, it was not a happy ending. Let me continue to tell you.
I was gradually recovering my physical strength afterwards. I regained my normal life as if nothing had happened to me. I felt as if I had a bad dream and my past memories were fading as time passed. Nothing had changed except for one thing. Thanks to the age of a battle against tuberculosis, I suffered from tuberculosis phobia. “Horrible tuberculosis” “Tuberculosis that eats young fresh and buries their youth” “Terrible tuberculosis that attacks at any time from anywhere” Since then, I became a nervous person who was obsessed with cleanliness before I knew it. It is because I never ever wanted to suffer from tuberculosis again. Such disposition didn’t suit my age but I had accustomed that it was the best way to prevent from suffering tuberculosis. I did believe it, too. Since then, my body was protected from tuberculosis for a few years. The war had started and I was called into the armed forces. I superbly passed the military inspection and worked hard for the county while eating boiled barley and rice which was unique to the wartime. Since I still suffered from tuberculosis phobia and had been accustomed to such my condition, I was full of confidence and didn’t need to pay any attention to protecting myself. I unknowingly took precautions against tuberculosis. In this way, I was very careful about it. Nevertheless, I suddenly faced a critical situation that overturned my confidence from the ground up.
I was in the army for a year and then something I didn’t expect had happened in my body. One day in a hot summer, I didn’t feel well because of lack of sleep the previous night and hard training. I asked to take a break from training and saw a military doctor. Since I didn’t have any symptoms to know, I thought that I was just tired. However, the doctor seemed to find something and told me to take an X-ray examination. I had a bad feeling but I did as the doctor told me. My bad feeling became a reality. I was very disappointed that I was ordered to enter the hospital. I tried to think why such a thing happened but my brain got too tired to work. I felt foggy and left everything to others’ care. Then I lost consciousness. After everything had been done, I found myself lying down with white clothes on the bed. My tuberculosis recurred. I thought that it had already gone from my body but had been preserved and waited appearing to surprise me. I don’t tell you what happened next. Everything returned to the previous situation. Rest, injection, taking medicine, nutrition, health check-up. Every such thing annoyed me. My youth, my hope and everything were gone. My body sucked the smell of medicine which made me depressed. I just waited for the time I recover. At the same time, however, I strangely had another heart in my body which asked, whished and wanted for something. I cannot deny that the other heart was contradicting my old one. They were in a complicated situation. In any case, I was literally a living corpse.
Since then, my condition went up and down for about two years. Then I was exempted from military service and ordered to leave the hospital. I was sent to my home. I lied down like a ghost. I went back to my sweet old home but felt depressed. I spent days in agony. What would happen to me? What should I do? What would become of my health? I suffered very much. I used to share my anxiety with my father and depended on him as my emotional support but he had already died. My mother was just flustered for me who was very sensitive. I think that it was an absolute tragedy. I suffered from tuberculosis phobia more than before. My acquired morbid stubbornness and cold-blooded personality were made upon the foundation of my tuberculosis phobia. All things such as doctor’s guidance, guidelines of books, advice of people who suffered from tuberculosis, common sense, the warning in newspapers and on the radio and drug promotion drove me into tuberculosis phobia in unison. So, I was going on the road of hell and eventually coughed up a lot of blood. My heart trembles very much and at the same time, something came to the front in my heart. It means that my instinct was awakened. When everything gets stuck, a person should take the only way left even though everything has been done. That way can be chosen by anyone at any time. I was finally given the way as my last card.
That is the true way of the light. I timidly said the name of God. It sounded awkward but I was desperate. I realised that the only power of God cured my tuberculosis phobia which had been cultivated in my mind for more than ten years. It is so ironic that medicine just gave me fear for tuberculosis much more. It should have cured tuberculosis first of all. Various guidelines, guidance and warning should have helped to cure tuberculosis but they were nothing more than to cultivate my fear more. They created tuberculosis phobia, which further created tuberculosis and nursed phobia. What a dreadful thing that is! Besides, God has the key to solving all my problems. What can I say about it? God didn’t abandon me but saved me. I have been a believer in Sekai-Meshiya-Kyo for five years. Meshiya-sama gave me brilliant true health. My tuberculosis phobia was, of course, completely gone. Just a seed of laughter left and I laughed bitterly to other believers. I was relieved to tell you so far.
Those who were wandering in pitch-black darkness without a cane must visit the world of the light.
I have finally come to the world of truth from the false world after so many twists and turns. That was a very good experience for me. I knew the blessings of God for the first time after I depended on the mercy of Meshiya-sama. All dirt and impurity that covered my soul were washed down. I was purified. I have finally learnt the whole truth. I want to shout at the world. People would never be free from the fear of tuberculosis without medical art based on religion. As long as they fear tuberculosis, they never recover from it. Only people who were informed of the truth can grasp true health. Now millions of tuberculosis patients still don’t know that they are in the false world and have an empty dream. When thinking of that, I get in agony. I wish that they could awaken the truth someday but as soon as possible. While praying so, I conclude my report. Finally, I express my deepest gratitude to Meshiya-sama. I hope that my report would be helpful even a little for people who suffer and worry as I did before.
[Miracles of Johrei]
Translated by N.H.