Reported by K.K. in Hyogo on 17 September 1952
Thank you very much for saving me, Meshiya-sama. I report my experience with gratitude. It would be no wonder if I were not in this world now. I just shed tears that I am still alive. I am just full of gratitude. Three years ago, I was wandering down the pitch-dark path without a torch nor cane. I didn’t know where I was brought but just kept wandering in tears. However, Dai-Kyomyo-Nyorai-sama gave the divine light to me in such a condition. He took my hand and brought me out to the path of divine light. I have prayed to Dai-Kyomyo-Nyorai-sama and received numerous blessings until today. I do apologise for my late thank you, Meshiya-sama. My writing is poor but I try to do my best to report the grace I received. It’s a pity that I cannot describe it even a little better but here I report my experience until today.
My illness was very mysterious. People cannot find what my problem was. They just thought that I was depressed and lied down. When I went see the doctor, he said, “You are not ill. It is mental matter.” There was no way to get along with him. I took prescribed medicine for conscience’ sake and injection. That was my daily routine. In the summer of 1949, I had pain in my belly and vomited at night. Since then, I had suffered from palpitation for two months. I had to have absolute rest and couldn’t move. I spent day after day in bed. However, the doctor said, “You are not ill. It is mental matter.” That was strange because I did feel pain. If my illness was mentally caused, how could I cure it? I got impatient. However, I fully depended on the doctor. My palpitation had gone in two months. I was released from the absolute rest but it didn’t last long. I felt heavy in the back of my head from that time. I felt as if something was stuffed in my head. I couldn’t sleep night after night. I got impatient, irritated and angry soon. Laughter disappeared from me. My family got gloomy and had many conflicts. We had a very much hard time that was beyond description. My husband worried about me and took me to the university hospital but the doctor couldn’t find the cause. I changed doctors many times after that but no one clearly identified the cause. Their conclusion was that I probably suffered from a nervous breakdown. After that, I tried various things such as relocation treatment and so on while taking a lot of ineffective medicine. I did silly things even though I didn’t know it. I was impatient to get rid of this suffering but on the contrary, the illness was getting worse. I did depend on medical treatment very much but it was useless. The last doctor I saw finally gave me up. By the way, I always had dozens of tablets with me. The doctor gave me to drink each one, which seemed to be strongly poisonous. As I didn’t want to take them, I kept them. However, I could no longer endure my suffering and thought to die by taking all of them. I tried it sometimes but I thought many things and couldn’t do it. Looking back, I think what I didn’t was right. My sleep problem got worse and sleeping pills became ineffective. I suffered from mental agony and lived like a crocked person. I did nothing for housework and rarely spoke to my family. My husband was patient though he sometimes got worried and sometimes disgusted with me. When I recall that time, I do admire my family very much. From that time, I felt like depending on God even though I didn’t believe in Him. It might have been God’s guidance. Just then, Mr I came to see me to introduce Johrei. He was an ardent follower of Meshiya-sama. I jumped on asking him to perform Johrei. At that time, it didn’t matter to me whether God existed or not. I had no room to discuss that matter at all. After receiving Johrei, I didn’t know why but I slept well that night. I didn’t get up until the next morning. I got light somewhere in my heart and eager to depend on Johrei much more. Since then, he visited me every day even on rainy, snowy and windy days. He performed Johrei on me for an hour or two hours at longest. I slept well and didn’t that depend on the day. In any case, my terrible sleep problem was getting solved like that. I was full of gratitude that I was being saved. However, my heaviness of the head was not yet healed. I often forgot the grace that healed my sleep problem and just worried my heavy head. Cloudiness formed in my heart. I was not worthy of receiving grace. I must have rewarded Mr I’s sincerity. I encouraged myself and prayed to Komyo-Nyorai-sama. A chairperson Mr T and a branch manager Mr A of the present Sekai-Meshiya-kyo gently gave guidance to even a person like me. Since medicine never cured my disease, I did want to be saved by Johrei. I read borrowed publications of the present Sekai-Meshiya-kyo in the bed day and night. I underlined important sentences and asked what I didn’t understand to Mr T and A. They explained it clearly. I was confused about what I understood and what I didn’t understand. I couldn’t understand what I had understood once. Then I asked it again. I caused them a lot of trouble. I do appreciate their effort. I still shed tears sometimes when thinking of that. On 6 Februaryn1950, I became a believer in Sekai-Meshiya-kyo. So did my husband a week later. We earnestly begged grace. In March, my husband was permitted to have a meeting with Meshiya-sama at a spring ceremony. On 11 March, we enshrined Komyo-Nyorai-sama. In April, I was permitted to have a meeting with Meshiya-sama for the first time. I didn’t know why but I easily held my spinning around the head at that time. I was often permitted to have a meeting with him after that. That was an extraordinary honour for me. I didn’t think that I deserved it. The condition in my head seemed not to change until this October. However, it was true that I could be able to sleep at night. In mid-autumn, I could do housework a little. I was very glad that I thought the time had finally come to be saved. Unlike the previous year, we welcomed a New Year with a smile in 1951. In March, I visited Atami to worship. I visited almost all the monthly ceremonies held in various branch churches. I felt heavy in the head but gained training. I even performed Johrei on some people. In any case, I did do my best.
In May, we enshrined Dai-Komyo-Nyorai-sama, which brought us a happier family. At the end of the last summer, I had purification. Pimples formed all over my head and pus came out of them for three months. I felt much better after that. I could always do housework I couldn’t do before. My purification in the head still continues. It cannot be helped because I had accumulated sins and taken medicine a lot since I was born until I became a believer in Sekai-Meshiya-kyo. I am just expecting that my heavy head will be healed by Johrei. I don’t think that it takes longer and I look forward to that.
In this way, a sinful person like me was saved by Sekai-Meshiya-kyo. I cannot stop crying when praying to the photo of Meshiya-sama. Only those who were saved by him would share this feeling. Every month I read the newspaper published by Sekai-Meshiya-kyo, I was encouraged and convinced. Patience is important for faith. Throughout my experience, I have learnt that I should believe in the absolute divine power of Dai-Kyomyo-Nyorai-sama and wait for the time no matter how many years it takes. Thank you very much, Meshiya-sama. God gave me my body and soul. So, please use me for the divine work, for people and for societies. I am sorry that my writing is poor and I couldn’t describe my experience even a little better. Here I conclude my report with gratitude. Thank you very much again, Meshiya-sama. Please guide us and give us grace as ever.
Translated by N.H.